Monday, October 19, 2009

Sigh - I'll give you a little taste

OK, since there apparently are those out there in my ever-shrinking fan base who don't believe that I have lost the ability to blog, I'll give you my best material.

You will learn to trust me.

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As you all know, we here at CherkyB Headquarters homeschool our childrens. Now, one thing that every homeschooler encounters when talking to a non-homeschooler is the question "why?" One quickly learns that there is no point in answering this question completely truthfully, as the person is not asking because she cares at all what your reasons are. She is asking so that she can isolate some little factoid that she can use to believe you are some kind of wacko, and thus she won't have to confront her own inner daemons of guilt for sending her childrens to an institution that is so steeped in crazed liberal group-think that it thinks having a pocket knife in a survival kit locked in the trunk of your car is an act of violence.

It's only a matter of time before some kid gets expelled for having a built-in cigarette lighter in his crappy old car, because having a lighter in your car is an act of drug use. And it's probably some kind of enviro-crime, too. After all, you burned fossil fuel in order to charge the battery that powers the lighter, which is clearly an act of global warming, and then, as if out of spite, you're using the lighter to create heat from electricity by just dumping it through a resistive coil - the most inefficient use of electrical energy. And creating heat is also an act of global warming.

Liberals are soooo stupid. And they run our schools. Well, at least to the extent that the creationists haven't taken them over.

But I digress.

A long while back, a fellow I used to work with gave me the line that I have tried to use for years, with not as much success as I had hoped: "Don't let the enemy educate your childrens."

See, the problem with that line, despite - or perhaps because of - its stark and succinct truthfulness, is that it feeds right into the person's desire to compartmentalize you as a wacko. If you're lucky, she'll go away. If not (or, if you're as incredibly good-looking as Me, CherkyB, as always), she'll want to engage you in a political debate. Now, there is no real winning of a political discussion with a leftist - they are immune from logic. They live on Hope and recycled 60's campus radical rhetoric.

And 60's campus radical chic is even harder to bear now, 40 years (hell, almost 50) after the novelty (and drugs) wore off it. If 60's campus radical chic had to get a real job, the best it could hope for is a lounge act in one of the older casinos in Atlantic City. Not one of the nice Trump-owned places. One of the older, smaller places like the Claridge.

Or, it could repackage itself as "Change" and fool a bunch of wishful thinkers into believing it's new and different, as opposed to old and failed. You know who you are.

Anyways, given that the whole "enemies" tack doesn't work, I had been searching for just the right line that says, "none of your fucking business," but in a nice way.

And I stumbled upon it last night:
Q: "Homeschool? [gasp] Why do you homeschool?"

A: "Because I met my wife in school."

6 comments:

Fat Moother said...

I see you have honed the skills of sarcasm to the nth degree...

paula said...

Ahhhh your back!!!!!

Rhonda said...

I was really loving most of your content. I mean like 99% until that last bit.

It's good to see you've still got it in you.

CherkyB said...

As they say, there's no accounting for taste.

Anonymous said...

So, why do you homeschool?

Anonymous said...

or, "you remember the awful food in the cafeteria, don't you? well maybe you didn't care, which is why you look like that."