Friday, November 26, 2010

Something Not to Do 22

Let's say, purely hypothetically, that you overhear your wife yapping on the phone with her mother (something that happens two to five times per day), and you hear her say, "He doesn't want to see that! He knows what I looked like then. He knew me when I was twelve." And then, in order to prove her point in some twisted female-logic way, she proceeds to describe in great detail exactly how you dressed when you were twelve.

So you decide to surprise her and dress exactly that way for the next two days, and she doesn't notice at all. Eventually, you break down and say, "Look, I'm dressing just like I did when I was twelve. Just like you described on the phone to someone a couple days ago. Was it your mother?"

"Yes."

"Why were you describing that to your mother?"

"Well, she found these pictures of me when I was twelve, and she wanted to show them to you."

Now, we all know your penchant for inappropriate humor. But take it from me, no matter what you do, no matter how funny you think it will be, do not ask, "Are they topless?"

That, gentle readers, is Something Not to Do.

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