I Love Animals, Too

As CJ notes, we actually were able to organize and execute the first local Fat Camp, which he has dubbed the "Mile High Fat Camp". That got me to thinking how, if it were "Fat Camp, Mile High Edition", it would be "FC MHE", which makes a kind of funny license plate.

And a smashing success it was. It started out just like the old Fat Camp, with a confused person who had not been reassured for about 2 hours that Fat Camp was still on sending out an email asking if it was still on.

We made a last-minute decision to substitute a fellow CJ calls MoodyT for MoustachioP. MoodyT and I go way back, and he was even my boss for a couple weeks about 5 years ago. Plus, he's one of the few people in FC who has attended the original Fat Camp. I was a little worried that he would bring a too much happiness to Fat Camp, because we don't really cotton to happy people, but CJ assured me he was in an angry phase.

I'm not sure it's true. He seemed pretty happy. But it didn't get in the way.

MoodyT brought with him his little sidekick, Rico. For some reason, they frequently travel together. When I pointed this out and said that it answered a lot of questions, MoodyT said, "Like you and StinkyJ ever use to be seen apart," and then he talked about the number of earrings that StinkyJ had. So I think he's going to work out.

My lovely daughter, HannieC, also decided to get in on Fat Camp in the usual manner. She refused to take her bath and get ready for bed, as she knew The Mrs. had assigned me the completion of this task before I would be allowed to leave. So I wasn't able to leave until 5 minutes before I was supposed to meet the boyz at Fat Camp, which was 20 minutes away.

Right when I was driving up to the bar, looking for parking, CJ calls to ask if I'm still planning to come. That's an odd question, given that I had said a bunch of times that I'd probably get there a little after 9, and because the whole thing was my idea. The correct question would have been, "When are you getting here?"

But I find some parking in a garage that costs 50 cents per hour, and wander into The Crown Pub, where CJ, El Toro, MoodyT, and Rico are sitting there nursing their beers. Now, this was the first big difference between FC MHE and the old Fat Camp. Being only 15 minutes late, no one would have had their drinks yet at The Duke, as it takes a good 20-25 minutes to get a drink there. Plus, no one at the old Fat Camp was an on time person, so if I got there 15 minutes late, probably everyone would be calling me to order their drinks rather than already be sitting there.

Very slow drinkers, these fellows were. Obvious that they are jumping into Fat Camp without having trained for it. CJ even switched over to drinking water after just one beer.

El Toro, being an old old guy, started reminiscing about how he used to have lots of parties at his house where he'd drink a lot, and then told the story of why he hates BrainkyP again. Rico started referring to that timeframe as "The [BrainkyP] Era."

We hung around for a while, then everyone got excited to show me some nasty little bar called "The Town Pump". They wanted to show me the bar because it is the smallest bar in town, has off-color bumper stickers covering the wall behind the bar, and has an airplane-sized bathroom every square inch of which is covered in graffiti.

Well, it was quite a dump, but they oversold the smallness of it. It was probably about the size of my kitchen.

After that, we went to another place called something like "Tailgate Tommy's" because they had a rooftop bar that we could hear from down in the street was loaded with people having a good time. The name of the bar started up another round of discussion about MoodyT and Rico and their close friendship, but this quickly ended as we ascended the stairwell and were overcome by the distinctive odor of fresh vomit.

Ahh, the joys of a college town.

When we got to the roof, the place was packed with college kids, most of them wearing matching yellow T-shirts. They were all drinking from plastic cups filled with beer. We managed to wedge our way over to the bar to get some drinks. I think CJ had a Coke. I had a Jack and Coke. Someone corralled one of the young ladies in a yellow shirt and asked what the dealio was with all the shirts. Turns out they were all in some veterinary-related field of study, and they were celebrating the completion of their first exam of the school year. Then the girl kept talking. At some point, she says, "And I just loooove animals sooo much!"

So, naturally, I respond with, "Hey, I love animals, too. Though not necessarily in a way that is legal."

She got a horrified look on her face, turned around, and hustled away.

One of the great things about being married is that you can go out drinking and leave your game at home.

I'm not sure where my game is at home. It's probably in one of those boxes we didn't unpack that's in the storage room.

El Toro and CJ bugged out shortly thereafter. MoodyT, Rico, and I hit one more bar. A place called "Lucky Joes" that I hadn't been to in probably 6 years. The best thing I can say about Lucky Joes is that they have free peanuts. I never managed to get a drink there, but I didn't try very hard. I had hit my limit already. The guys kept saying, "There's a waitress here," but there obviously wasn't. There were just bar patrons, including a bunch of people in yellow T-shirts. I stuffed my face with free peanuts. Then it was time to go home.