DrinkPact #6 - Blitzin'

At long last, I got to practice my art. The Mrs. wanted something chocolatey and cherry to fit in with the Christmas season. I don't know when cherry became a Christmas flavor, but I do what I'm told. This one is very tasty. I'm not kidding on that. If you are at all a fan of black russians (and who isn't?), you should give this one a try. Even The Mrs. likes it, and she doesn't like anything I make.

Blitzin'

1 oz. Vodka
1/2 oz. Kahlua
1/2 oz. Grenadine
Splash of Peppermint Schnapps
1 tsp. Chocolate Syrup

Stir with ice and garnish with a cherry.

Drinker's Impressions:

It's like a chocolate-covered cherry candy filled with alcohol with an Andes Candy hint-of-mint finish. This is the potato chip of mixed drinks - no one can have just one. Well, I had just one, but look in the picture - that's a hell of a lot more than 2 oz. of drink in that glass. A great drink for you and your honey to snuggle up by the fire with while watching DVDs of Rankin/Bass Christmas classics.

Trust me. I'm a professional.



Update: Oooo...a testimonial.

DrinkPact #5 - Water Torture

I was sooo happy to hear that one of my cherished readers has been sampling the DrinkPacts that I even was able to overlook the blatent ripoff of titling a post "never blog sober". I was also inspired to give you the final DrinkPact of 2007 (or the first of 2008, depending on when you log in).

We have guests coming over at 10am tomorrow morning, so it's very important that I try to minimize the hangover potential of the drink. Though, truth be told, if you don't get a hangover, you're not really trying. The key to avoiding a hangover, besides hydration and vitamin B12 (and, you know, sipping like a wuss), is using nothing but clear liquid. And thus is born yet another masterpiece. Or something.

Water Torture

1 oz. Vodka
1 oz. Gin
1 oz. Puerto Rican Light Rum

Stir with ice and garnish with an olive.

Drinker's Impressions:

It tastes surprisingly like gin, which is almost something you might consider a damned shame given that nasty pine-needly taste of gin. Except that the dilution of the vodka and the rum take the edge off the strong gin flavor. I think it very important that a quality gin is used here (I'm using Bombay Sapphire). There is just a delicate hint of rumminess in the drink, and that defines the finish so nicely.

I wonder how it will go with champagne later tonight.

DrinkPact #4 - Miracle Martini

It is rare that God speaks to me through vodka. I find that I am closest to God when chugging shots of Yukon Jack, which I don't do very often on account of I was very upset to learn that God was Canadian.

So, last week I sat down to make the perfect Christmas drink. I quizzed HannahC on what she thought Christmas flavors would be, and she chose chocolate and peppermint. Thinking this was awfully close to the ingredients list of the most horrible Minty Fresh (who, interestingly enough, happens to be a recurring character in Christopher Moore novels - though I knew it not at the time, not having ever even heard of Christopher Moore last year, though he today firmly occupies the space of CherkyB's favorite author, displacing Hemingway or maybe Davie Foster Wallace), I decided to keep it simple at first. I tried three different minor variations of the theme - Boozettos, I like to call them - and this was the most palatable. It wasn't by any means heavenly, but more on that later.

The Miracle Martini

1.25 oz. premium Vodka
0.5 oz. Creme de Cacao
splash of Peppermint schnappers

Shake with ice. Strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a stick of candy cane for a stirrer.

Drinker's Impressions:

Ahhh, at last the wonderful flavor of Andes Candies in an intoxicating beverage. The chocolaty undertones from the creme de cacao banish any errant thoughts of "toothpaste", which can be such a recurring problem with minty drinks. After two or three of these, you might be inclined to cut out the creme de cacao and the peppermint schnapps, go with straight vodka in the glass, and simply munch on a candy cane. And that's the great thing about this drink. It is as much or as little as you want it to be. Really, the exact opposite of a spouse.

So from where does this strange name, "Miracle martini," come? What is miraculous about a martini, especially one with no Yukon Jack? Well, feast your eyes on the photo below:


Note the glowing stars shining on the glass. Here's the thing: there are no stars in that room. None. I took three pictures, all from the same angle, and this one came out with stars in it. Real, perfect Christmas stars. The other two, just ordinary light. I didn't notice this until I downloaded the pictures from the camera and looked at them on the screen. To this day, I have no f'ing idea where those stars came from. Really. Not making that up. I did, for this one shot, use a different mode on the digital camera. Now I have to dig out the manual to see if it does a digital "star" filter on it.

If not, it's very clearly a message from God.

And God has bad taste in drinks.

Which is kinda what you'd expect. You know, God being Canadian and all.

DrinkPact #3 - The Leaf Blower

It's very difficult to create art by committee.
-CherkyB

Especially if everyone on the committee is an idiot but you.
- Little known addendum

Last night, I decided it was time to get back to the grind and churn out another of my holiday cocktail recipes, as I know you, my slack-jawed fans, are probably going to make your final run to the liquor store this weekend in preparation for the big Thanksgiving feast where you will be put on the spot during dinner to name something for which you are thankful, except Gramma will get to go first and will use the, "thankful for being surrounded by so many of my loving fambly" rot, and by the time it gets to you, all the good answers will be gone, and you'll be left picking between, "I'm thankful that people are starting to learn that the al Dura scandal was a hoax manufactured and propagated by a left-wing media," which is maybe a little too morbid for Thanksgiving, even for you, and, "I sure am glad that 'The 64 Effect' doesn't happen with Code Red Mountain Dew." Personally, I'm going with the latter.

But you'll want to impress your friends and/or family somehow, and given that you've gotten this far into your life without witty banter being part of your repertoire, you've pretty much resigned yourself to it being something more mundane. Like a card trick. Or a joke that is either hysterical (to you) or doesn't make any sense at all (to your family and friends) and leaves people shaking their heads and excusing themselves to get a drink.

"Ah HA!" you yell. "A fancy drink!" That's how you'll impress your friends and/or family. Or, at the very least, you can get good and sloshed on something either too sophisticated or bizarre for the rest of the pedestrian bunch you holiday with.

So, the chances of this particular drink being your salvation are somewhat low. That because, during the moments the creative juices began flowing (i.e., when my drink was empty and I needed to fill 'er up), I happened to be YMing with one of my long-lost grad school buddies, Dr. A-berg. And he kept yelling "Add vermouth!" after every step.

I can't think of many situations that vermouth is the answer to. In the end, I broke down and added it. It really destroyed the drink. You should never take drinking advice from someone who would serve gewurztaminer at his wedding.

Anyway, this was my first shot at a Thanksgiving drink. And if you can get past the first sip, it's actually remarkably not anywhere near as bad as the Minty Fresh. I should have an alternative selection available in a couple days. That way you can have two fancy drink recipes to ask your host to make when they say, "Can I fix you a drink?"

The Leaf Blower

3 oz. Cranberry juice
1 oz. Tequila
0.5 oz. Goldschläger

Shake with ice, strain, enjoy.

DrinkPact #2

It has been a while since I have shared my creative energies in the mixology field with you my multitudinous fans. In fact, it has been nearly a year since I posted the one and only entry on the topic.

I started out thinking it would be a good time for a Halloween drink. So, what would make a good Halloween drink? Clearly, there is a whole world of cider drinks already on the books. And the only way to make a drink "scary" is to set it on fire.

As a general rule, I try to avoid drinks that are on fire. Not because I'm afraid of the fire or afraid of anything catching on fire. No, it's because having a fabulous background in engineering and the sciences, I know that the only thing that burns in a drink is the alcohol, and the alcohol is the only reason you made the damn drink in the first place. It's like buying a beer, then pouring the top third of it out on the counter.

So then I got to thinking that maybe I should just do an orange drink. Orange is a nice Halloween color, plus it doubles as an autumn color in case you can't think of a Thanksgiving drink, or in case the Thanksgiving drink starts like this, "Take 3oz of turkey gravy..."

I didn't go quite as adventurous with this one as with Minty Fresh, instead making just a minor modification to an existing favorite by mating it with old friend.

Here is your special CherkyB Halloween concoction:

Screw Yu Driver

6 oz. Orange Juice
1 oz. Vodka
1 oz. Yukon Jack

Mix. Stir. Enjoy.

My Artistic Creation

After a while of reading all this artsy stuff on Thoughts, one gets to wondering if really blogging is enough of an artistic outlet. Apparently, it's overwhelming for some, but for me, I feel I can contribute So Much More. Plus, I spent the whole day at the Denver Museum of Natural History with The Mrs. and The Childrens, so I'm pretty much climbing the walls already. And it's only the first day of nine consecutive days in a row I have with The Fambly.

Vacation time can be a curse as well as a blessing.

So I decided to create something that would bring joy to the world. Something beside my incredibly humorous blog, that is.

Without further adieu, here it is. The first Original CherkyB Cocktail:

Minty Fresh

1.25 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Triple Sec
0.5 oz Creme de Menthe
0.5 oz Creme de Cacao
splash of Grenadine
Juice of 1/2 lime

Stir. Serve over ice.

Drinker's impressions:

Has a look kinda halfway between iced tea and flat coke. The Creme de Menthe (green) and Grenadine (red) combine to make what would otherwise look like to total chick drink end up looking kinda nasty and uninviting. Ah, but with the first sip, all trepidations melt away. The primary flavor is the mintiness of the Creme de Menthe, but the finish is vaguely reminiscent of Tootsie Rolls. Damned if I can figure out why, but there it is. Might call for a cherry or a slice of orange. Will have to work on that aspect of it.

Does anyone know how to submit a drink recipe to Webtender?