Marital Bliss

Or some approximation thereof.

For a long while now, I've been having fairly frequent asthma attacks during the night, and I wake up almost every morning with a touch of asthma and a decent amount of coughing. I've long suspected that this was some sort of allergic reaction, as aside from frigid air and exercise, allergies are the only thing left that trigger this in me. However, being on a steady dose of Zyrtec hasn't helped much at all. Now, at last, due to pure chance, I have figured out the cause.

I am allergic to my wife.

As odd as it may seem, every now and then The Mrs. sleeps in the basement guest room. This is invariably triggered by the weather - either it's so windy that the windows rattle on the second floor, keeping The Mrs. awake, or it is so hot that the air conditioner can't cool off the second floor, keeping The Mrs. awake. She likes to head down to the cool, quiet basement for sleep in these cases. I, on the other hand, am not willing to abandon my bedroom for any such trifles. Especially since when The Mrs. heads to the basement bedroom, The Childrens follow her like the Pied Piper, and they all sleep happily in the one tiny room.

Faaaaa---...k that.

But anyways, we had a windy day about a month ago where she slept in the basement, and I had no asthma during the night, and I woke up with no coughing in the morning.

I found it odd but chalked it up to coincidence.

Now, however, we've had two very hot nights in a row where The Mrs. has slept in the basement, and I stayed in our bed, and both nights I have had no asthma, and both morning I have had no coughing. I feel more healthy than I have in months. The Mrs., again by sheer coincidence(?) is coughing a ton more in the morning than she normally does.

I've gotten to wondering if it is her down pillows causing the trouble, as I am deathly allergic to down. But she has left one of those pillows in the bed each and every time. It could still be that it requires somebody to be tossing and turning on the pillow to kick up enough down to affect me, so tonight I plan to sleep on the down pillow she leaves behind while she is in the basement.

If I am still asthma-free tomorrow, I may have to trade The Mrs. in for a newer, hypoallergenic model.