Saturday, April 14, 2007

Cavitation, Psycho-therapist

I'll miss my little coffee chats with Cavitation. He seems genuinely interested in trying to force his unique, cheery life view upon me, as though his soul is crying out for some kind of validation to justify its suppression under this false guise of direction and purpose. Naturally, I see right through this. But I play along, since he's on his was to Costa Rica, and I can keep up the clever ruse for another couple weeks to humor him.

Back on Friday, he asked me the bizarrest of questions. He had apparently been mulling over my description of the various joys that children have brought to my life, and he said something that went more-or-less like this,
"So, what is it that makes you tick? What goal are you working to?"
Naturally, I answered completely truthfully, as I really cannot keep up the clever ruse for another couple weeks to humor him.

"Death."

See, I never really planned my life past the point where I had a career, house, wife, kids, dog, pickup truck, and lawn tractor with snow blower attachment. The only thing I really have planned at this point is death. Not right away, mind you, but at some point years into the future. I really have no idea what one does in between.

Cavitation didn't like my answer, so I think I may have changed it to "alcohol" at some point in an attempt to lighten the mood. I don't so much enjoy talking about death, as it's a bit of a conversation-killer. A lot like talking about what you saw on The View this morning. Or American Idol. Ooooo Sanjaya!

But, eventually, he got all happy-eyed and triumphant and declared, "You're having a mid-life crisis." Then he went off on a riff about how people are having mid-life crises earlier than ever because they're putting off children, so they hit their late twenties and have nothing left to live for.

I guess I need to go out and get me a sports car like El Torito got when he had his midlife crisis like 8 years ago.

But, instead, I went out and got me two cubic yards of mulch. Gorilla hair mulch, not killer mulch. Tomorrow, I'll go get more, since it didn't quite do the front planting beds, and we still have the back to go.

An interesting thing was that last night, The Mrs. and I watched Click. In this movie, a guy gets a remote control that lets him fast-forward through the boring parts of his life, and he ends up fast-forwarding pretty much all the way to his death. It was a remarkable coincidence that this movie arrived from Netflix on the same day that I had that conversation with Cavitation. And then, at the end of the movie, The Mrs. said, "This movie is your life."

8 comments:

Nava said...

you are getting almost profoundly philosophical.
Almost.

Still lacking that Yukon Jack?

ellie said...

What about retirement or spending money on your children's postsecondary education? These are goals. I'm planning for both and i haven't even had the kids yet. Actually, I should say I planning for retirement. I don't know how the hell I'll finance the kids' education.

manly lesbian said...

I'm not gonna have any kids....frjue

Rhonda said...

My hubby and I were chatting awhile back about the blog schtuff and folks.
I said something in the likes of how you, mecherkyb and thewifeofcherkyb are quite brilliant.
sometimes I think you don't realize that your clever posts of regular life show glimpses of two very dedicated and deep people.

That was probably wayyyy too serious even to be in the comment section.
but dammit I mean it!

Manly lesbian said...

Speaking of kids, I spoke with a lady the other day whose child was running around with no pants on..The lady said "Hurry and get your pants on so the coyote doesn't see your little penis"! What do you think of that? I have never heard that before....qkjwuviw

wife said...

Has anyone checked Rhonda's basement for pods? CherkyB imposters in her basement, posting a different script for her to read?
Either that, or she's on to us. Quick, Cherky, write something asinine.
Thanks, Rhonda : )

JohnnyB said...

CherkyB - don't know if you need more or less of the Canadian Happiness Juice.

I think more - you're funny, so you must be drinking some, but only ~70% of your potential.

2 or 3 more shots and another blog should do it.

CherkyB said...

Would that it were. Would that it were.