Monday, April 30, 2007

The Garden of Pain

At least it isn't the Garden of Death yet.

This weekend was deemed the last possible moment to plant the garden, so after much discussion, we agreed that at long last this would be the year where we wouldn't buy all the plants before any of the watering system was figured out so that I wouldn't end up chasing back and forth to the home improvement store while trying to beat dusk on a Sunday night hooking up the watering to hundreds of dollars of plants.

Yeah, right.

Somehow we again managed to fritter away nearly all the daylight hours before freeing me up to connect the watering, as per usual. Normally, this is completely 100% the fault of The Mrs., but it's possible that I frittered away about 20 minutes installing a new, larger car seat for MaxieC that The Mrs. decided we would spend 45 minutes picking out and buying instead of planting. And the installation of this car seat is completely retarded. In particular the top tether, which should take mere seconds to install but instead has a buckle that requires you to thread the belt through a buckle no fewer than seven times. Yup. Under, over, under, then down to the tether hook, then back to the buckle where it is under, over, under, over. Imagine having to fight this many loops through a buckle to make an adjustment to the length.

There was much cursing.

But, we managed to get 8 strawberry plants, a summer squash, an eggplant, and a bunch of onions/leeks/garlic/shallots planted and all the watering hooked up. Plus, I got the 1/2" tubing run all around so that new garden patches (the garden seems to be divvied up in roughly 2'x6' patches) will be quicker to hook up to the water as they get planted. The Mrs. this morning asked me how quickly I could hook up watering when I got home form work if she planted during the day. I said I could do a couple patches with no problem subject to the caveat that I not have to watch any babies while trying to hook it up. OK, deal.

Well, The Mrs. was busy during the day, putting in a patch of flowers, 8 asparagus plants, and three rows of something else that I don't recall (since it was seeds, and three rows of buried seeds doesn't look like anything in particular. I got home at the normal 6:20 after picking up HannahC from dance.

Immediately, The Mrs. abandoned me with MaxieC while she went inside to cook dinner. After about 10 minutes, I pooped my head inside and asked if, in fact, she wanted me to hook up any watering tonight (since HannahC had given me the low-down on the drive back), and The Mrs. said, yes, she planted three patches, and I should put MaxieC in the back and start working on it.

I quite politely noted how I had said I could hook up watering only if I wasn't watching any babies, and she said to me, "Well, I can't watch him. I'm cooking dinner."

So I didn't hook up any watering. After about five more minutes, The Mrs. decides that she can watch MaxieC after all. I go change my clothes, since I don't want to dig in the dirt with my work clothes on. I head outside to the delicate timbre of MaxieC screeching his head off about whatnot.

Three-year-olds seem to have a penchant for screeching. I wish they didn't.

So I'm out there 15 minutes, and I'm on my last connection for the three rows of seeds. Haven't started the flowers or asparagus yet, though I have carefully laid out all the materials for them, and The Mrs. appears to tell me dinner is ready. This transpires:
The Mrs.: "Dinner is ready."

Me, CherkyB: "Is the world going to come to an end if I don't stop doing this and come in and eat dinner right now?"

The Mrs. : [silence]

Me, CherkyB: "See, I've only been out here 15 minutes, and I only have one of the three things hooked up, but I have everything all set to go."

The Mrs.: [silence]

Me, CherkyB: "So, can I finish this?"

The Mrs.: "Dinner is ready."

Me, CherkyB: "See, that's a statement. That's not an answer. I asked a question, and normally you answer a question, not just give some statement of fact."

Me, CherkyB: [to self] "Self, I'm pretty sure she thinks that was an answer. Better start packing up."
So I packed everything up and headed inside for dinner. The Mrs. agreed to water the other stuff by hand, despite it being about 300 ft. to the hose from the garden. I don't get home until 7:20 tomorrow, and it'll be nearly dark by then.

I wonder how much more stuff there will be to water by hand tomorrow.


Rhonda said...

I'm tired just reading about your gardening!

wife said...

So far we've planted and set up watering for strawberries (everbearing), butternut squash, eggplant, onions, garlic, shallots, and sugar snap peas. The herbs get water already, I think (sage, sweet basil, chives, rosemary, and greek oregano - all perennials except the basil). I also planted asparagus (perennial) and some perennial flowers which I can water by hand until Wednesday. The raspberries need to get in ASAP (Saturday will be ok - I can water 2 small pots by hand). They require some stakes and wire in order to hedgerow them. Nothing else should go in until after 5/15, I think. I'll have to check my master plot.

ellie said...

does hannah have a garden?

Rhonda said...

I thought I was doing good with 3 tomato plants.
Just looking at all those yummy foods I imagine by mid summer you have one hellofa cookout!