Friday, September 21, 2007

Something Not to Do 12

Let's say, purely hypothetically, that you are standing in the kitchen in the morning and happen to glance over at a stack of checks, and on top, there is a check from your parents as a gift for your anniversary. Then you think to yourself, "Self, that was nice of them to send us a gift. We didn't send them anything this year. I'm The Bad Son."

But, you know, you've been The Bad Son on and off all your life and, luckily, with two brothers there is always some competition for that spot such that no one has to spend too terribly long with the title. But then you get to thinking.

"Hmmmm... Yesterday was the 20th, which you remember because you had to update a web page and put the date on it right before I left from work. That means today is the 21st. Ohhhh shiiiiittt."

And then maybe you get a panicked look on your face for a second until you contemplate how you already talked to your loving wife this morning, and she didn't say happy anniversary. So you charge upstairs to where she is in the shower and yell, "Happy Anniversary!" To which she replies, "Yeah, I was just thinking that."

Later, she tells you she was waiting for you to say it first since it's so important to you to be the one who remembers first. You know that's a filthy lie. She is trying to catch you forgetting and doesn't want to admit it. But you let it slide.

When you get home that evening, maybe something like this transpires:
The Mrs.: "We got a 'happy anniversary' call from your parents while we were out."

Me, CherkyB: "Oh. That's nice."

The Mrs.: "They sang a happy anniversary song. It's the one that goes, 'When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.' Yeah, 'That's Amore', that's what the song is called."
Now, your finely tuned marriage instincts may tell you otherwise, but take it from me. The proper response to this is not:
Me, CherkyB: "That's Amore? That's a really strange song to think to sing to us."
That, dear readers, would be something not to do. ™

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Anonymous said...

OK so now I suppose I am a rotten moother-in-law because I didn't send you a check for your anniversary. Happy Anniversary. I give you a big present by NOT calling you and singing.....xxexo

CherkyB said...

Yes, we always do appreciate when you don't call.

Nava said...

Your list of something not to do keeps growing. Impressive!

And, congratulations.

CherkyB said...

Interpersonal relationship is one of my hobbies. My knowledge base grows and grows, and, being the humanitarian that I am, I try to help along my readers with the finer points of my gathered wisdom.

And thank you. It was number 11, but it seems like much more.

Anonymous said...

Funny thing is, I didn't even understand why you were complaining about their choice of song. I was wracking my brain for what was 'inappropriate' about it. I hope this cold goes away soon. It's making me stoopid. Too funny.

Rhonda said...

nothing like being a flat tire cherkyb!

Happy Anniversary!

Anonymous said...

f**k you!