Saturday, March 10, 2007


I know who not to leave in charge of the coffee.

As we were attempting to leave the zoo this afternoon, after maybe 4 hours of zoo fun, The Mrs. declared that she was going to run into the cafe near the exit and see if she could score some coffee for the hour-long drive back. It was fast approaching closing time, so this was not guaranteed. She, ever so kindly, asked if I would like one, too. I thought to myself, "Self, you've been up since 6:20am with a 3 year old boy, he has insisted that you carry him on your shoulders for the greater part of the last 4 hours, you're feeling kinda sleepy, and it has just begun to rain. You could really use a coffee." So I said, "Sure."

The Mrs. went in there for a good 15 minutes. We watched her running back and forth between those pump coffee dispensers that dispense hours-old, cold coffee and the condiment bar. Back and forth. Back and forth. I don't for the life of me know why. Happily, she was the only customer in the place (since they had stopped selling most of the food and put it away already), so when she stopped her frantic oscillations, she got right through the checkout.

She came out and handed me a sad little 8oz cup. I took a swig and cringed.
Me, CherkyB: "What is this?"

The Mrs.: "They only had decaf left."

Me, CherkyB (silently to self): "Well, there goes staying awake for the drive back."

Me, CherkyB: "How many sugars did you put in it?"

The Mrs.: "Two packets."

Me, CherkyB: "Was it two packets of real sugar, or was it a sugar-substitute?"

The Mrs.: "Two packets of Equal."

Me, CherkyB: "That's like 8 sugars!"
And it was horrible. Sweet Jesus, it was horrible. I think the underlying coffee might have been OK, but it was hard to tell. If there is any silver lining in this, it's that they had only 8oz cups.

I'm still dreaming of the double turbo I had at Coal Creek on Thursday. If I read the menu correctly, the double turbo is two shots of espresso in a cup of coffee. Damn, it was good.

I wonder if that is The Substance calling to me?


Nava said...

Never quite understood the idea of decaf coffee.

It's kinda like the kosher imitated-shrimp in Israel, amde of some fishy fish. They actually shape it like shrimp, but it tastes like, well, similar word, just take out a couple of consonants and garnish with a 't'.

wife said...

Regular coffee makes me see stars and makes my heart race and makes me shake and go "geh geh geh" for a good 6 hours. Can't take anything with pseudoephedrine in it for the same reason. Mine was delicious. And hot.


diet pepsi breakfast lunch supper and bedtime snack

wife said...

The diet Pepsi only bugs me if I drink more than 4 in an afternoon - then it just irritates my bladder.

Hello, blogauthor! What kind of smart scientist are you? We like really smart people. If you like it here and stay for a while, CherkyB can add you to the Cast of Characters.