I don't get it

I was on the way to Carl's Jr. for lunch, and I got behind a car with one of those bumper stickers that has a lot of hard-to-read words on it. It took me two stop signs before I could read it. This is what it said:

I'm sorry I missed church
I was busy studying witchcraft
And becoming a lesbian

Now, from behind, it looked to me like the car was being driven by a dude. But a lot of angry lesbians look like dudes when they're driving the car in front of you and all you can see is most of the back of their head. At a traffic light, I pulled up next to the car, and I confirmed it was definitely a dude.

So, now I'm trying to figure out exactly what in the hell message this bumper sticker was trying to convey. Plus, I'm trying to figure out why a dude would have it on his car.

"I'm sorry I missed church. I was busy studying [a different religion]." What is profound about that? And I think the lesbian reference is maybe trying to imply that church and lesbianism are incompatible, but my last church was chock full of lesbians, even having one as a pastor, so this implication is either made out of ignorance, or I've completely missed the point.

I know a bunch of my readers are left-wing wackos, so I'm going to do a bleg here. Can one of you please explain to me first, what this bumper sticker is trying to say, and second, what profound new meaning is given to it when it's on a man's car?