Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Wednesday - Garbage Night

I'm wondering if I should start recycling my post titles. Like, maybe I should have 6 out of the next 7 posts titled, "hill". And I could talk about how there's this hill, and sometimes I run up it. Or perhaps, I could write a whole bunch of posts called "road," and I could talk about how I go down my street, then turn left at the stop sign, then left at the next stop sign, then right at the light, then left at the first paved road, then right at the roundabout, then right into the second entrance of the parking lot, and then I'm at work.

Except maybe sometimes I could change it up and describe the whole thing in reverse and then hit you with the surprise ending, "and then I'm ........... home!"

But I feel I owe you, my loving audience, better than that. So instead, I will discuss how tonight is garbage night. Every Wednesday is garbage night unless a major holiday came earlier in the week. Tonight's garbage has a very special treat in it: two dead mice. No, not pets. Evil, home-invading vermin.

And why are they dead? Because I electrocuted them! Bwaaahaahaahaahaa!

So far, I have only collected the garbage from 3 of the garbage cans in the house. There are many more than that. It was raining before, and we had little mini-tornado watches south of here that freaked The Mrs. out, so she made us keep a local channel on the TV during dinner. Except they had that show "Wife Swap" on, where they find two different moms who are both pathologically bad at one thing and good at another, only they're opposite things, and then they swap them for a while, and then The Mrs. got all concerned that I was enjoying the concept too much and decided to risk the tornadoes and turn off the TV and not let me watch it at all even though I had finished dinner. So I went downstairs and watched a moovie with MaxieC, only I fell asleep, which was great, cuz I was really tired from reading about running up hills. And I think it's hysterical how Obama can't admit that he just flat out made up a "fact" that inflating tires would save more oil than all the oil "they're" talking about drilling, and how newspaper "journalists" are saying "he's right" by neglecting to note that 100% of cars on the road are not running on critically under-inflated tires and how automotive oil consumption is less than half of the overall oil consumption and even if you pretend those two things aren't true, he's still off by an order of magnitude or so because "journalists" don't have the faintest idea how to do basic arithmetic, and it has also never been a requirement in the field of politics. I think this fella will be a much more entertaining president than even Bill Clinton, cuz at least Clinton kinda nudge-nudge-wink-winked when he was making stuff up.

Our A/C iced up tonight. First time this year. I noticed cuz when I took out the garbage, I heard the compressor running and it sounded rather labored. When I put my hand above it, it was blowing cold instead of hot air. Then I noted that the house was 79 degrees, and the A/C was set to 73 (cuz with the piss-poor A/C I have, you have to super-cool the house in the morning to keep it below 85 degrees in the afternoon on hot days), and it was kinda cool today. So now I'm running the furnace to try to melt the ice on the coil. This is so retarded. I wish I could ditch the A/C and just save energy by taking a vacation on a massive new houseboat.

5 comments:

ellie said...

a more appropriate recycled title would be "poor me, cherkyb!"

wife said...

Didya turn the furnace off yet?

Joe said...

Cruelty to aminals

CherkyB said...

Come on Joe, you know you just woulda killed them slowly and then eaten them.

ellie said...

Joe looks all tough but the truth is, he probably would have mewed "eek" and run away!