They're Not All Winners 1

OK, folks. I've decided to introduce a new, recurring installment here that I have called, "They're Not All Winners." Allow me to explain:

As you all know by now, I am a remarkably funny individual. My gift for humor knows virtually no bounds. However, it does in fact know some bounds. I am, after all, merely a human like everyone else, albeit substantially better in most respects.

This feature will document those things that seemed like they'd be funny right up until I said them, and then they just didn't really deliver. I don't expect this to be a very frequently recurring feature because, while they may not all be winners, a man of my talent delivers primarily winners. Plus, how many posts that say, "It was like prom night all over again," do you actually need?

So here you go. Episode one. Save it, it'll be a collector's item some day.

It's garbage night tonight, so I was emptying the garbages throughout the house. I was holding the garbage bag from the laundry room (a bag that is transparent plastic), tying a knot at the top, when MaxieC pointed to it:

MaxieC: "It's not empty!"

Me, CherkyB: "It's not supposed to be empty. That's why I'm taking it out."

The Mrs.: "No. He meant the potato chip bag."

Me, CherkyB: [noticing potato chip bag in the garbage bag] "Oh. It's empty. It just doesn't look empty because Momma filled it with tampons."