Santary Products

MaxieC still believes in Santa.  This is probably not ideal, but here at the CherkyB household, I have surprisingly little input into such decisions.  I know, I know, you're shocked, Shocked! that this could be the case, but there it is.

HannahC is still mad at us, not for having ever led her to believe in Santa, mind you.  No, she is angry that we only were able to keep up the ruse until she was 10.  She believes we have cheated her out of a "magical Christmas" now that she knows the real deal.  And she has dedicated herself to making sure MaxieC doesn't find out.

Bless her heart.

Well, round about this time of year, purely by coincidence, a lot of little packages from Amazon seem to get left on the front porch.  The Mrs. dutifully brings these in and, if they are things she has ordered, she squirrels them away unnoticed.  However, if they happen to be addressed to me, she leaves them just inside the front door and announces their presence the moment I walk in from work.

Cuz, you know, I work.

Imagine,if you will, the excitement of a little boy who has just been reminded that there are unopened packages at the front door and that the person who owns those packages is now around.  There is jumping up and down.  There is hanging on my arm.  There is shoving of said packages into my face.

What there distinctly is not is any way to squirrel away the packages unnoticed.

However, I am a resourceful man:

MaxieC: "Daddy! Daddy! Open the package!  Open it!"

Me, CherkyB: "No."

MaxieC: "What is it? Open it! Open it!

Me, CherkyB: "No. I have to take this upstairs."

MaxieC: "Why? What is it? Why won't you open it?  What is it? What is it?"

Me, CherkyB: "Your mother has discovered that tampons are really cheap from Amazon.  Why don't you open this up and put it under the sink in the master bath upstairs?"

MaxieC [running away]: "Ewwww!!!  Yuuuck!!!!"