Many Topics of Little Interest

It's a lot like the Cliffs Notes version of my blog in that respect.

First, I owe The Mrs. a big apology. I'm not going to give her one, but in case you're keeping score, you can tally one down on my tab. You can put it right there next to the one I owe BrainkyP for dumping the garbage can on his head a long while ago. Back last week, I may possibly have had a post where I ranted a bit about how The Mrs. made me come home from work to fix a garage door that was not broken. Well, this weekend while I was assembling my beloved snowblower, I was forced to move into the garage when the afternoon suddenly cooled off like 20 degrees, and I was spending more time with my hands in my pockets trying to warm them up than I was actually assembling the thing. The only free space in the garage is where The Mrs. parks the winivan, so I backed it out and set up shop there.

Well, this occasioned me having to open and close the garage door a number of times during the process, and the door malfunctioned nearly every time. Eventually, I got so fed up with it that I stopped the blower assembly and decided to take a closer look. I noted that the chain had an awful lot of slack in it. So much so that it was slacked down below the level of the rail. I checked the other identical-yet-always-working opener on the door next to it, and the chain was nowhere near as slack. So I tightened up the chain. I also sprayed some Schwinn bicycle chain lube on it (as it was the only lube I had readily available in the garage, and hell, it was a chain). It has worked flawlessly since then. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Now, speaking of that post about the garage door, it's possible I may also have mentioned something called "PMS Weekend". One of my many fans today approached me at work very excited because he "had a solution for you". His solution? "Knock her up."

This is why we call him Tinfoil. He really needs to wear that hat more, as the mind rays are getting to him again.

I must say, though, that despite all the whining from Fat Moother about how I'm too mean to The Mrs. on my blawg, the PMS Weekend post was a big money maker. Hell, I made almost $8 off it.

The Mrs. is riding Carl, the elliptical trainer, right now. Yesterday when she got on him, I got myself a Crown Royal and sat down on the futon behind Carl to watch. Apparently, riding Carl is not supposed to be a spectator sport.

That sounded a lot dirtier than I had intended it to.

Speaking of Carl, I was having a very brief coffee break with Cavitation today, and he was complaining, among other things, that I had not named my snowblower yet. He was very concerned because I seem to name everything, and he used Carl and Dave as examples. For the record, MaxieC named Carl, and I'm pretty sure The Mrs. named Dave. I don't normally name stuff. I didn't even name The Childrens. But anyways, this got me to thinking. Hmmm...

Something I have not yet shared about my snowblower is that when I got it, it had the address of the company that built it on the boxes. Not only is it from Canada, as we had learned before, but it's actually from Quebec. So now I'm thinking maybe I should name it after some famous hockey player.

But, of course, there aren't any famous hockey players.

So then I though some more. I said to myself, "Self, what would be a good name for a big 300 lbs. French-Canadian beast?"

Yeah. That's right. I named it The JohnnyB. [Insert your own "blowing" joke here.]

I'd also like to welcome back Rhonda from her Florida vacation. Rhonda's blog, Rhonda's Blog, is the latest re-recipient of the Blog of the Week Crown, as it's the only blog left on my blog roll that posts often enough to hold the title. Everyone go there and click on her ads.

Oh wait, she doesn't have any ads. Someone go show Rhonda how to put up ads, OK?

I'd also like to take this opportunity to wish JohnnyB and NavieA-B a happy vacation. I will sorely miss them, as they account for about half of my advertising revenue. I hope you kids get internet in your hotel!

And a big "Get Well" wish to Rico, who is home recovering either from the flu or from having his stomach pumped from alcohol poisoning, depending on if you get the "official" version that he tells his boss or the "alternative" version. Something about Jägermeister tasting too much like candy. You can leave your best wishes in the comments. He's a regular reader.

Finally, I'd like to thank BrainkyP for the biggest laugh I had all day. As you may recall, he was my boss back in Santa Clarabelle before they ran me out of town, so he had to provide my new manager and me with a transfer review. Oddly enough, he buried the gems down in the "improvement/developments" section where we come across this little snippet:

"Brian has a fantastic sense of humor [...]"

Now why, exactly, is that an area for improvement? Hmmm.

Oh wait, here it is:

"Brian once held an (admittedly funny) passdown meeting where the topic was “why do I hate management”."

And I'd do it again in an instant!

Though maybe, just maybe, I'd not do it with management sitting right there in the room.