Friday, April 07, 2006

I Told You So

Yes, I am prescient. Always have been. One might say that I have advanced psychic powers if one were the type of person to be kinda dull of mind and prone to thinking that anyone with reasoning ability must possess magic. So, to most people, I am a sorcerer.

We had a quarterly event today at work. That is where once a quarter, they pay for us to go have lunch and some games somewhere in the interest of team-building. Today, it was bowling. Now, as many of you remember, I was a champion bowler back in the day. But now I am an old, injured man. My wrist hurts from the compooter, and my shoulder hurts from sleeping on it. I can barely lift a bowling ball this week (this is not normal; I am having a flare-up.) . On top of that, my thumb joint has grown, and it no longer fits in my bowling ball. And then, naturally, I had three meetings during the bowling at which my presence was necessary.

All I do, after all, is go to meetings.

Well, as luck would have it, my boss ordered me to attend the first two hours of the event. Meaning I would miss one of the taskforce meetings. Yes, yes, miss the taskforce. There's one every day.

So I go to the stupid thing, which is 20 minutes away, and they make us stand around for nearly an hour waiting for lunch. Supposedly, the caterer got lost. But they couldn't let anyone bowl during that time, since they'd only paid for two hours. Just stand around like a bunch of grumbling idiots.

I was right at home.

Finally, the food comes. It is mediocre Chinese. Blah. I eat, I leave for my 2:00 mtg. 2:00 meeting goes fine. 3:00 meeting rolls around. About halfway through it, there is a critical issue being discussed. No one knows what is going on, so then the lady doing most of the talking says, "Brian, did you make it to the taskforce today? Can you tell us what the story is on this?"

And I say, "I wasn't there today. They made me go bowling instead."

Just now, I logged into my work email, and there is an email from the lab manager asking me to make sure I am on top of this critical issue. Well, he can just wait. I tried to be on top of it, but I was ordered to ignore it and go stand around waiting for bad chinese food.

I did, however, win a $25 gift card to AMC cinemas in a raffle. I wasn't even there, as I had gone back to work by then. But I had left my ticket with another guy, and he picked up my prize for me. Man, I can hardly remember what it is like to see a moovie.

I really don't like kettle-cooked potato chips. Sometimes older is not better.

Oh, hey, before I forget, we had a "security situation" at work yesterday. Someone was observed placing a package underneath a car in the visitor parking lot around 5:00, and the bomb squad got called. They shut down the visitor lot and the parking garage next to it. Well, I , and everyone in my lab, was parked in that garage. They did not open the garage until about 7:40. So no one could go home during that time. There was a news helicopter hovering above the whole time. We went outside and smoked cigars. I just happened to have some.

Tomorrow, maybe I can play with my new miter saw. I haven't even opened it yet. It just keeps raining. I don't know if I'll be able to work in the Garden of Death.

1 comment:

FAT MOOTHER said...

Kettle Cooked sea salt and vinegar chips rule!
tonites word is xxyssi oh no - it was wrong - i got a big red message - addmjqlv