Sunday, January 27, 2008

It's not like me to complain

but sometimes, things are just ridiculous.

Take this morning, for instance. MaxieC was up at the ungodly hour of 7:30. AM. The Mrs. told him to talk to me about it, so I stumbled out of bed, went downstairs with him, and turned on Spy Kids. I picked up a 2-pack of Spy Kids DVDs yesterday at Sam's Club for $13.98ish, so he still had some interest in seeing them cuz he'd only watched them each twice.

I then lay down on the loveseat with an afghan and a pillow to snooze a little more. This is, as you can imagine, a massive hardship for me. I am substantially taller than the loveseat is long, and afghans are OK for an afternoon nap in the sun, but not for a crack-of-dawn suffer-slumber. The Mrs., BTW, has never approved of me sleeping on the loveseat while MaxieC sits on the sofa watching a DVD. She, being the hovering sort, thinks this smacks of inattentiveness, like I should be reading him a book or something. However, MaxieC is perfectly mobile and able to get himself drinks and snacks and even hit the pause button on the remote if he has to pee. I see it as not interfering.

He did wake me up about every 15 minutes to open a mini chip bag for him. Another score from Sam's Club - a big box of vending-machine-sized Frito-Lays snacks. For some reason, MaxieC decided after a couple mouthfuls that he doesn't like Cheetos anymore, so I got to eat that one.

Eventually, HannahC showed up and watched the moovie, too. The Mrs. wandered down at some point, and sat and drank her coffee in peace while I watched The Childrens. Then she went to ride Carl in peace while I watched The Childrens, followed by a steam shower in the basement bathroom in peace while I watched The Childrens (though it is unconfirmed whether she actually turned on the steam). She wandered through the fambly room while I was wrastling with MaxieC and announced that she'd already had her shower.

I don't know why, as that tidbit of information did not in any way affect my life.

She wanders upstairs to get dressed in peace. HannahC is, at this point, complaining vehemently that I am not paying enough attention to her. The she huffs off to play her Wegets web game stuff.

After about a half hour (it's now 10:30), I head upstairs to see WTF. The Mrs. is still pootzering around and isn't even dressed. I wait patiently. She curses at me because I chuckle watching her put on her freshly-shrunk-for-the-dryer jeans. It's always entertaining to watch a woman try to put on fresh jeans, what with all the hopping and contorting and stuff. Just like on TV.

Eventually, she is dressed, so I ask permission to take a shower.
Me, CherkyB: "Can I take my shower now?"

The Mrs.: "I should hope so. It's practically noon. You've wasted the whole morning, and you haven't even taken your shower yet!"

Me, CherkyB: "I've been up over three hours watching The Childrens so that you could sleep in and drink your coffee and ride Carl and take a shower and get dressed in peace!"

The Mrs.: "Don't you dare begrudge me my one day of the week sleeping in!"
So there it is. I've "wasted" the entire morning watching The Childrens so that I could begrudge her her sleep-in day.

I took my shower. First, I tried to find a dry towel. There were 11 towels out in the master bath. 11. The number that were dry? Zero. Whatever.

Two minutes into the shower, HannahC comes storming in. "MaxieC is forking his chair!"


"MaxieC is forking his chair!"

"I can't hear you. I'm in the shower."

"MaxieC is forking his chair!"

"Why are you telling me? I'm in the shower. Momma is watching you now (supposedly). Go tell her."

Five minutes later, MaxieC is pounding on the shower glass. "Breakfast is ready!"

Breakfast will just have to wait.


ellie said...

First, what happened to happy posting?

Second, she got that from Granny. Granny wakes up at noon and says the whole day has shot. Rather than resisting, I have embraced it. On Fridays I always announce to her, "The weekend's over."

Wanda Mandasniff said...

God that is some depressing shit. I'm going to go repeatedly jab a mechanical pencil into my junk to cheer myself up.

Manly Lesbian said...

The weekend is over before it even begins. But I got my taxes done - Turbo Tax rocks. I will get my refund just in time to pay my property taxes. Ain't life just freaking wonderful? I think I might have enuf left over to get a new pair of glasses....

blogauthor said...

I love the Mrs.

And I hate fresh from the dryer jeans - its true, they shrink at least 2 sizes. This is why I wear my jeans until they either smell so badly that even I can't take it or they stand up by themselves. Then they are so loose that I feel skinny again .... until I dry them. Sigh. Its tough to be a woman.

Who is Carl? This sounds very interesting.