Tuesday, March 04, 2008

I'm pretty sure

That I'm going insane.

Not quickly. Just a little at a time. But there it is.

I try to think back to the last time I can clearly recall not feeling like I was going insane. I think it was before I had children, when I used to be allowed to sing at the top of my lungs common songs, except I would make up utterly filthy lyrics on-the-fly. Our downstairs neighbor in Rochester was a big fan of that. She would comment.

By now I have had to stifle my art, and it is makes me feel rigid and about to explode.

Today I was instructed by my boss's boss's boss that I should make sure I am present for our project's review with our two V.P.'s on Thursday, because there will be a lot of very hard questions that I will need to be there to answer. "Very hard questions" is our little euphemism for a lynching. You're not supposed to say "lynching" because of the negative racial connotations.

There's nothing like a big f-up to increase your face time with the VP's. I doesn't have to be your own f-up. It just has to be one about which you can answer "very hard questions". It really, really helps to also have a statement that begins, "and this is what we're going to do about it..." handy. Happily, I have one of those.

I'll have to remember not to wear a snarky T-shirt on Thursday. Especially not the "I make stuff up" one. Probably not the "Beer Inside" one, either. I may have to iron something with buttons and a collar.

My entire bar is covered in sand. HannahC and MaxieC decided to turn one of the spider habitats into a ladybug habitat due to the demise of the spider yesterday. The habitat had reptile sand in the bottom, so they dumped it into "the garbage". The Mrs. was angry because the sand was expensive reptile sand. I was angry because my entire bar was covered with a very fine-grained sand. Apparently, my anger is somehow irrational because we can always vacuum the bar, but hers is rational because once $3 of sand is thrown out, you can never get it back.

The whiskey in my glass cost more than $3. That's never coming back, either. However, I wouldn't be surprised if it gets replaced rather quickly.

On the other hand, we don't own any reptiles. Never have.

4 comments:

Manly Lesbian said...

You should wear the "I may not be very smart but I can lift Heavy Things" t-shirt....or the one that the vacuum says to the fan - YOU BLOW and the fan says to the vacuum - YOU SUCK...

ellie said...

going?

blogauthor said...

"There's nothing like a big f-up to increase your face time with the VP's. I doesn't have to be your own f-up. It just has to be one about which you can answer "very hard questions". It really, really helps to also have a statement that begins, "and this is what we're going to do about it..." handy. Happily, I have one of those."

This made me laugh very, very hard. Did you take away any action items? I hate corporate-speak.

CherkyB said...

I'm hoping none of my ARs require an updated resume.