Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Slow, Lingering Death

I hear Dr. Adlerberg, one of my oldest and dearest friends in the world, and his lovely wife had a baby on Saturday. I hear this from my wife, who heard it from his wife. Not from Dr. Adlerberg himself. Apparently, he's to worn out from the birth to send out an announcement. But, hey, I understand the suffering that is new babyhood. Congratulation to Dr. Adlerberg and JennyH.

We're mummifying a chicken. That's a non sequitur, in case you were wondering. We started on Saturday. It's a science/history project for HannieC's homeschooling. She's studying ancient Egypt, and the book has a mummification project. It seems pretty straight-forward. You start with a chicken, remove all the guts (which you can mummify, but the book says they'll still smell even after mummification (we chose to toss them)), wash it out with hot water, and then wash it with alcohol (it suggests isopropyl, but notes the real Egyptians used wine. I'll be damned if I'm wasting good drinking alcohol washing a chicken, though that bottle of peach schnappers hasn't been touched in years.).

Then, you make a mixture of 1 can of salt, 1/2 can of baking power, and 1/2 box of baking soda. To this you add nutmeg, cinnamon, and cloves. Then you stuff the chicken with it and put it in a baggy with the remainder. You change the mixture whenever it gets damp, which is after the first day, then like two days after that, and at progressively longer intervals for about 40 days. Then I dunno what happens, but it involves linen and olive oil. I'll let you know when we get there.

We did the second change of stuffing today.

HannieC named her chicken. She had been quizzing me about which end of the chicken was which, and she learned that the little hole was the head end, and the big hole was the butt end. Then, she named it, "Lucy."

When she heard the name, the Mrs. accused me of having named it. I don't know why.

Hey, I got my first payment ($111.81) from Google AdSense (the doods that put the ads on Me, CherkyB) on 11/27, a mere 8 months and one week after I started blogging. I'm pretty sure that won't even cover the amount of JD I've consumed while blogging during that time period, but I probably would have consumed roughly the same amount anyways. The Mrs. only threatened to divorce me due to excess blogging twice during that time, and only accused me of having an affair with a commenter once, so overall, I think it has been a big win.

Especially when you consider the joy and happiness I've brought to the world through my blog. Not to mention the great insight and learning.

A big win for everyone.

Let me thank you for your patronage. Well, let me thank those of you in California, New York, and Colorado, in that order, who have accounted for nearly 100% of my ad clicks over the last quarter. The rest of you can GFY.

It's poker night tonight. I'm not there. I would lose most of my AdSense earnings if I were, as MoodyT somehow always managed to bust me. I wish I didn't suck at poker, but I do. We can't smoke cigars during MoodyT's poker nights, hardly anyone drinks anything, and they're usually over by 10pm. It's very different from StinkyJ's poker nights.

I'm trying to figure out a way to make the title to this post relevant. I can't.

Such is life.

8 comments:

Nava said...

Chicken, Salt, baking power, nutmeg, cinnamon, and cloves - sounds like one of TexieD's complicated recipes for ThanksGiving.

Congrats on earning your first writing-salary!

And - you are welcome.
Yes, us well-behaved Californians do tend to pay for our education.
It's not every day that you find such an abundance of knowledge and wealth of unbiased and witty expertise on everything, from barfing to unicorns.

We all feel enriched, I'm sure.

ellie said...

what are you going to do with all that money?

FAT MOOTHER said...

The bigger question is: What are you going to do with the chicken say a year or two from now? Give it to Doug for Christmas???

Anonymous said...

I have to say I'm very entertained by your blog...
don't know if I'd go so far as to say "joy and happiness" but definately entertained. :)

Anonymous said...

Ah - the number of blogs that could be generated by the Adventures of Lucy, the Mummified Chicken.

There's playing catch w/ Lucy.

Lucy as a hat.

Lucy in Rocky Mountain NP.

...

Nava said...

"Slow, Lingering Death" - of the disappearing links, I'd say.

Reading The JohnnyB's comment, I laughed hysterically, but then I noticed you've removed the intriguing LVR link...

So his comment is not as funny as I thought.

And don't give me that "I-dunno-what-you-crazy-foreigners-are-talking-about".

CherkyB said...

Sometimes you sleep on something, and you change your mind in the morning.

This is especially true if you follow one of CherkyB's Golden Rules of blogging: never blog completely sober.

Nava said...

Indeed.
That was way TMI.